Stuck in My Immortal
by zharza
Summary: Zharza Dot was just minding her own business, when Shlowla sucked her up into the fanfiction she'd had a glimpse at previously. She is forced to tag along in the "adventures" of Ebony Way and her friends until she can work out how to get back home. WARNING: Frequent swearing, My Immortal, based off of a Troll fic.
1. Prologue

_**Okay, well. Welcome to my little gem. I'm very proud of this. Because my commentaries are not allowed on FanFiction (they're linked on my profile/can be found on Quotev), I decided that Zharza Dot would be forced into character shoes for My Immortal. I was originally going to start with Twila, the gurl in luv with a Vampir, but my computer crashed while I was writing it, and I didn't want to start it all over again. So I started on My Immortal.**_

_**The main problem with My Immortal is that the chapters are pretty short. So the short chapters are **_**not_ my fault this time . . . much . . . _**

**_So, for new readers, here is a key for you guys to understand half of the stuff I'm talking about._**

**Miki Moke:_ Friend of Zharza's. Can be commonly found featuring in my commentary._**

**Ginnevra:_ Friend of Zharza's. Can be commonly found featured in Flaming at FaCe ThE StRaNgE and Flaming at The gratest pokemon master. Is usually mentioned a lot, too._**

**Q (Cue-Ball): _Zharza's brother. Plays a lot of games, most commonly Pokemon. _**

**Shlowla: _Zharza's laptop. Sworn at commonly, usually gets a lot of damage - it's no wonder Shlowla zapped Zharza into the My Immortal universe._**

**Spacey: _The space bar on Shlowla. More information on Spacey's condition can be found at the bottom of my profile._**

**_Hopefully that's enough information to keep you covered - now, it's official; my AN is longer than the chapter. Oh well. ::shrug:: _**

**_Anyway, there is a version of this fiction on my Quotev that has images of a bit of interaction between Miki and Zharza (which also occurs via Quotev). So if you'd like to see the occasional image, I'd suggest reading the version that's up there._**

* * *

It was just another normal day for Zharza Dot. Today, she had come home from school, turned on Shlowla (her trusty laptop, which, in reality, was not trusty at all), and had a chat with Miki Moke, her best friend. It had been a rather uneventful day, her conversations with Miki (both in real life and on the internet) the highlight, until Shlowla decided to do something weird.

For some reason, in the middle of a conversation with Miki, the screen on Zharza's laptop just turned blue. With a sigh, she held down the power button, thinking it had just frozen in a strange way. She held that button for sixty seconds, and nothing happened.

Starting to get a little freaked out, she pulled out the battery. But still, the laptop did not turn off.

Panicking, she stood, but just as she did that, the webcam light turned on.

"Okay. Enough is enough . . ."

The sticker on the webcam came off, and when she attempted to cover it with her thumb straight away, what felt like static electricity shocked her. The light from the webcam grew brighter, larger, and for some reason, it started to 'scan' her. Before she could run away, a gold bracelet was clamped onto her wrist. And before Zharza knew it, she was sucked into Shlowla.


	2. Chapter 1

Without much warning, Zharza found herself falling from . . . the sky. It was not a very good feeling. Hitting the ground _should_ have broken her back, but she was instead greeted with just a bruise.

With a groan, she sat up from landing on the dirt, squinting at the brighter light. She looked up, and immediately regretted it.

"Son of a . . ."

There was a very large castle in front of her. One that, strangely, resembled that of the Hogwarts in the films. Zharza sighed and stood, brushing the dirt off of her back.

Seeing no other option, Zharza headed towards the castle, hoping to find a way to get back home.

By the time she had gotten into what seemed to be a court yard, she was starting to panic. For some reason, the people around her – teenagers, by the looks of them – had not questioned why she was there. They had barely noticed her, if they had even noticed her at all.

Getting through the doors was an even weirder situation. When she tried to push the big, presumably heavy doors open, she literally fell through them.

"For gods sakes and for all that's holy, what the _hell_ is going on!?"

She expected someone to try and help her up, but instead, everyone just kept walking past her. One person managed to walk through her.

For a short moment, it seemed like one person had noticed her – as the girl in question flipped her middle finger towards Zharza.

"You little-"

"Hey, Ebony!"

Zharza looked towards where that came from – as it was the only thing she was able to understand throughout the large noise coming from the area. Blonde hair, lanky build – the guy in question looked strangely like Draco Malfoy . . .

"What's up, Draco?" The girl asked him, continuing to walk towards him.

Zharza was beginning to become confused. Why was she here? Better yet; how did she _get_ here? And why was there a gold bracelet on her arm that she couldn't manage to get off?

By the time Zharza had finished asking herself those questions, Draco had replied to "Ebony's" question, albeit, he was shy. "Nothing."

Within seconds, Ebony was called away by another person. And without must warning, Zharza was forced to come with, as if there was a chain coming from the gold bracelet on her wrist that had attached itself to Ebony . . .


	3. Chapter 2

The next day had Zharza waking up from sleeping in a bedroom corner. Last night, she had been almost literally pulled around by the invisible chain connecting her to Ebony. She met a lot of her friends – maybe _too many_ of her friends, and she also found out that Ebony slept in a black coffin with a hot-pink lining. To make things even more complicated, the girl was a Goth.

And considering Zharza was a Neek, it was going to soon be clear that Neeks and Goths don't mix well together.

As the rain pounded on the window, Ebony opened the door of her freaky coffin, and within seconds, began to drink some blood from the bottle she kept in the lid.

"Oh jeez, don't you think you could do that _later?_"

As per usual, there was no response from Ebony.

No, instead, she apparently decided to get dressed. With a sigh, Zharza turned to the window. "You know, normally talking to myself is something I'd do regularly." When Ebony had her dress on, she turned to her. "But with someone in the room, it makes everything a bit more weird."

Nope. No response.

Zharza sat and waited at the door while Ebony took her sweet time putting on her necklace and fishnet stalking and boots.

With a slight eyebrow, she said, "You know, the rest of the school wears a uniform."

It took a short while, but having put in four unnecessary pairs of earrings and put her hair into a messy bun, Willow woke up from her own coffin.

Willow, who had a habit of making things ridiculously exciting for no real reason. The annoying friend flipped her terribly long black hair over her shoulder. Without much hesitation, she also put her ridiculous Marilyn Manson shirt.

The two also over-did their make-up. Willow, however, decided that the morning couldn't go without the small-talk.

"Oh-Em-Ef-Gee; I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" She said in her 'a little bit too excited' voice.

_Not much of an achievement_, Zharza thought to herself.

"Yeah?" Ebony shrugged. "So?"

"Do you like Draco?"

Zharza sighed as the two packed up their things and went out to the Slytherin common room. They took the short journey to the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking _don't_!" Ebony shouted.

Zharza sighed again. It had been like this for the last fifteen hours. And she was starting to get really annoyed with the two friends/roommates.

"Yeah right!" Willow exclaimed.

Without much warning, the guy in question walked up to Ebony, walking straight through Zharza.

"Hi." He said.

Ebony said the same thing back to Draco, a little flirtatious. "Hi."

"Awkward much?" Zharza commentated. Not that anyone heard her.

"Guess what?"

"What?" Ebony asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade . . ." He explained.

Zharza groaned. "You've gotta be kidding me . . ."

"Oh, my, fucking, _God!_" Ebony screamed.

"Well . . . do you want to go with me?"

"Oh for gods sakes . . . " Zharza suddenly flashed back to Willow's 'small-talk' with Ebony and cracked a smile. _Sure,_ she thought, _of _course_ you don't like him._


	4. Chapter 3

On the night of the concert Zharza was _not_ willing to go to, Ebony had decided that she should "dress up". And her dressing up means wearing anything that may have been considered slutty. Black lace-up boots (that were also, by convenience, high heels), ripped red fishnet stockings, a black minidress made out of leather with a corset, and 'matching' fishnets on her arms.

The most painful process, however, was when she took her time and straightened her hair – to make it _spikey_. If she could, Zharza would have caused Ebony to 'accidentally' burn herself.

Ebony seriously got Zharza's attention when she slit her wrists.

"Holy _shit!"_

It didn't matter if Zharza wanted to help – she just kept fading through things she wanted to pick up or touch. So, she had to watch while Ebony mutilated herself.

But honestly? She felt more sorry for the book Ebony began to read while she waited for her scarred wrists to stop bleeding.

When Ebony was satisfied with herself, she painted her nails – not after putting on some Good Charlotte music, however – and put on _way too much_ eyeliner.

She then _continued_ to put on her make up on. With a sigh, Zharza turned back to the window.

"This is the _first time_ that I wish that Willow _hurried up and came over . . ._"

At least Willow would be able to entertain her.

After a couple of minutes listening to Joel Madden complaining that he "just wanted to live" and "couldn't remember what happened last night", Zharza was quite literally pulled out the door by an unsuspecting Ebony Way. She had apparently finished getting ready, and now she was heading outside, regardless of the imposing curfew.

Apparently, she was, indeed, going out with Draco tonight.

"Oh, _brother._"

Oh yes. Q (Cue-Ball) Dot _sure would _make sense of this situation.

In a seemingly depressed voice, Ebony greeted Draco, who was sitting in front of his car. "Hi, Draco."

_If she was any more depressed, he'd probably run . . . _ Zharza thought.

"Hi, Ebony."

Well, at least Draco was looking forward to this 'date'.

Zharza was tugged into his black car, of which Ebony deliberately looked at it's number plates. Why? Good question.

On the way to the 'concert' (of which Zharza was positive was going to be cancelled), Draco and Ebony _both _started to smoke marijuana and cigarettes. Zharza was glad that she could morph her head through the window – at least she was able to breathe a little easier outside of the car than _inside _of it.

When Draco finally stopped, Zharza was once again forced out of the car and tugged into the mosh-pit. If she didn't feel invisible enough, she did now, because random people just started to walk through her or _stand_ in her, no matter how many times she wanted to swat them away.

And when Good Charlotte started playing the "Chronicles of Life and Death", Zharza could only scream this; "_THIS ISN'T A FUCKING _GOTH_ SONG!?_"

It felt good the scream that in Ebony's ear, but she was admittedly a little disappointed when there was no reaction whatsoever.

"Joel is so fucking hot!" Ebony screamed so Draco could hear, unnecessarily pointing towards Joel Madden as he sang with his band. And at that, Zharza could only groan and roll her eyes.

Draco's reaction was not with either Ebony nor Zharza expected. Instead, he looked more depressed and upset.

"What's wrong?"

Whatever was going on, Ebony must have worked it out.

"Hey, it's okay! I don't like him better than _you!_" She said.

"Kill me, Cue-Ball." Zharza muttered. Too bad Q was nowhere to be seen in this 'place'.

"Really?" Draco asked, having to raise his voice over the crowd. He put his arm around Ebony in a somewhat protective manner.

"Really." She confirmed. "Besides, I don't even know Joel, and he's going on with Hilary fucking Duff!"

"News flash, dumbass." Zharza stuck her head between them, looking at her. "They broke up, like _six years ago_." She paused. "Maybe more. I don't really remember, but _still_, they're _not in a relationship anymore!_ Get with the times!"

Ebony ignored her. Or she was oblivious. Either one. "I fucking hate that little bitch." She said, disgusted.

"Oh my gods, _you are such a drama queen!_" Zharza put her hands on her hips.

It didn't really matter what Zharza thought, because these people didn't notice her. The night went on, and the poor stuck-in-the-wrong-place Neek had to listen to Good Charlotte for the whole night – not necessarily a bad thing, but when you were stuck with people like 'Draco' and Ebony, the night seemed to drag on. But Ebony was having a good time. And Draco was as well. Much to Zharza's distaste.

After the concert, Ebony and Draco started to drink alcohol, but not before going to the band and asking for their autographs. Zharza did everything she could to not scream "RUN AWAY" at Joel Madden . . . not that it would matter.

When the two little terrors were satisfied and had their autographs, they went back to Draco's car. Draco started the car. But instead of flying to Hogwarts, he started to speed towards the Forbidden Forest.


	5. Chapter 4

_**I'm not quite sure **_**what_ happened to this chapter - for some reason, half of it bolded. :/ Anyway, edited to fix it. :D_**

* * *

"Draco!" Ebony shouted. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"That's a very good question, bro." Zharza exclaimed. "Maybe we can pull over? That way we can work on me going home? _Please?_" Zharza paused, however, suddenly thinking and stroking her chin. "On the bright side, however, maybe that giant spider will finish you off _for _me . . ."

Draco didn't answer, but he landed the flying car in the middle of the forest and got out. Praying that Ebony wouldn't follow, Zharza gripped the sides of her beanie . . .

Only to be pulled out of the car, and be literally dragged on the ground behind Ebony. "PLEASE! DON'T MAKE ME GO WITH HER! _PLEASE?_"

"What the fucking hell?" Ebony said angrily. When she finally stopped walking towards Draco, Zharza sighed, and stood up from being dragged along on the ground to brush herself off.

Draco turned."Ebony?"

"_What?_" She snapped.

"Yeah, _what do you want now?_" Zharza glared at him.

Much to Zharza's distaste, Draco leaned in towards Ebony.

"Oh, no. _No no no._ None of _this_ crap."

She stepped in between them. The look in Ebony's eyes, however, caused her to scrunch her own closed. It felt as if she was being sprayed by the ridiculous emotions of teenagers – unpleasant. She was in between them when they kissed each other, too.

Zharza started to try and swat them as she walked backwards through Draco, not wanting to be stuck in between them during their make-out session. Unfortunately, the two walked through Zharza to get to the closest tree, where Ebony leaned against the tree in order to "properly" make out with her possibly-soon-to-be boyfriend. It was when they started to take each other's clothes off that Zharza got embarrassed/annoyed/whatever.

"Oh my _gods!_ I AM STILL HERE! Can't you do this some _other_ time when I'm _not_ here?!"

When they were both stark naked and on the ground, getting covered by twigs and leaves, was when they began to have presumably unprotected sex. To be honest, Zharza didn't really want to check. Instead, she stood behind a tree, somehow managing to _not_ fall through it, and covered her ears to avoid hearing anything she didn't want to hear.

Ebony's "pleasurable screaming", however, could not be blocked out. And, soon following Ebony, Draco's moans started to make their way into Zharza's ears.

"I'm going to _kill_ myself."

Yeah, definitely the worst day of Zharza's life.

It was, however, about to get a little bit better.

Without much warning, a man with a long white beard appeared out of nowhere. Zharza might of mistook him for a skinny Santa Claus, but the wizard robes were the dead giveaway that this man did not come from the North Pole.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MOTHER-FUCKERS!?"

The swearing also kind of gave that fact away.


	6. Chapter 5

Zharza was literally being dragged across the floor of Hogwarts. It was only when they followed 'Dumbledore' up the staircases that she decided that breaking her back wasn't worth it and finally followed the three.

Surprisingly, when they were discovered, it hadn't taken the two long to get dressed. In fact, it'd taken seconds for them when the skinny Santa Claus Dumbledore showed up out of nowhere.

He had also continued to shout.

"You ludicrous fools!"

Ludicrous was not quite what Zharza was calling them right now, but it was close enough. If this was as close to a responsible teacher she'd get in this universe or wherever she was, she'd take it.

Ebony started to cry. However, these weren't normal tears. What came out of her eyes caused Zharza to scrunch up her nose – red tears fell down the overly-pale face. Much to Zharza's distaste, Draco tried to _comfort_ Ebony.

The group walked into another teacher's office, where Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall stood, McGonagall's arms crossed and Snape's hands behind his back. Both seemed angry. This brightened Zharza's day a little, knowing that at least there were a few sane people around here and there.

Dumbledore spoke as soon as they'd all stood in the office. 'They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forrest!" He yelled furiously.

Zharza frowned. Under the knowledge that Dumbledore was the headmaster, she found it difficult to believe that he'd have to ask for the opinion of two teachers that were below him. Shrugging it off, she listened to what McGonagall had to say.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" McGonagall snapped.

"How dare you?" Snape demanded.

Without much obvious hesitation, Draco yelled at them both. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

There was silence as Zharza stared at the pasty young man. "I call bullshit! I call _bullshit!_ Don't believe him! He's delusional!"

"Fine." Snape said. "Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Her jaw hanging from her mouth, Zharza couldn't believe her own ears. She couldn't believe that Snape would even allow such a thing.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do about Snape's decision, because as soon as Ebony walked out of the room, she was pulled by the invisible chain with the two terrible teenagers as they made their way upstairs to the dormitory.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked gently.

"It's not as if she was _attacked_, Draco." Zharza muttered.

"Yeah, I guess." Ebony said.

Zharza was pulled into the girl's dormitory. As Ebony moved around the room again, brushing her teeth and hair and _changing clothes_, Zharza couldn't help but wonder how on Earth she had managed to get into such a horrible universe. What was she even doing here? And how did she still have the ability to contact Miki Moke through her phone. How did she even have _phone reception here!?_

It wasn't long before Ebony was on the move again, leaving the bedroom – forcing Zharza to come with her – and leaving to see Draco standing out front of the bathroom. He was singing something about wanting to live; at this point, Zharza couldn't care less, finding it difficult to bother to even work out what the song was after tonight. Surprisingly, Ebony was pleased, and the two hugged . . . and kissed.

"Guys, can we at least _sleep?_ Are you _not capable_ of leaving each other for _one night?_" Zharza groaned.

Unbelievably, the two said their good nights, and Ebony went off to bed!


	7. Chapter 6

"Say 'hi, there', to my bad body double . . . I got bad body double trouble, _oh no. _My bad body double – she's _everywhere I go!_"

And then flung open the coffin.

"SHIT! SHE'S AWAKE!"

Having sung to herself the majority of last night, Zharza had found herself going through her phone's playlist and randomly blurting out the best parts of the songs. The one she had just finished, "Bad Body Double", was one of her favourites. She doubted, however, that Ebony would feel the same way, should she start to acknowledge the existence of Zharza.

The super-bitch pulled herself out of the coffin, and away she went – putting on her whole emo/gothic/whatever outfit, with the ridiculously high high-heeled boots that made even Zharza look like a midget in the presence of Ebony.

With a sigh, Zharza stood in front of the mirror with the unknowingly stupid teenager and straightened up whatever she could – her beanie, combing her fingers through her hair to make it some form of tidy having not brushed it since falling out of the sky, etc. Ebony just continued putting on her ridiculous make-up, not even noticing the caramel blonde neek standing next to her.

"You know, if we're going to form some sort of friendship over these hours, you're going to have to get into a proper dress code." Zharza said to herself. "You know, like, lose the high-heels and stuff. And the _miniskirt_. Jeez, what did you _do_ in that thing? Accidentally drop it in a paper-shredder?"

There was once again no response. Instead, Ebony pulled out hair-spray, and started to randomly spray her hair a deep purple colour.

"Oh, yes. Because that's what normal people do in the morning. Randomly spray their hair a different colour." She frowned and leaned on the dresser. "Do you not like black hair?"

* * *

The entirety of last night didn't seem to have happened in the eyes of Ebony. She didn't even mention what had happened to Willow – and now that Zharza thought about it, Willow had seemed to have disappeared from existence. Regardless, Ebony continued on with her morning, and had a form of 'normal' cereal, but insisted on having it with blood.

"Jeez, Ebony, no need to give yourself hepatitis C . . ."

What with all the scars on Ebony's arms, it was a wonder she wasn't suffering from it _now._

Without much warning, a boy with spikey black hair (with red streaks in it) managed to accidentally bump into Ebony. The bowl, with the blood and cereal in it, spilled all over Ebony's clothes.

"Bastard!" She shouted at him, but as soon as she looked up, she stared at him.

"Oh, no. No, no, no!" Zharza started. "Don't you _dare_! I refuse to have been privy to last night and do it all for nothing! Don't you _fucking dare!_"

"I'm so sorry." He said shyly.

The more Zharza looked at him, the more he seemed to resemble Daniel Radcliffe . . .

"No friggin' way . . ." She groaned.

"That's alright." Ebony muttered. "What's your name?"

"My name's Harry Potter. Although, most people call me Vampire these days . . ." He grumbled.

"No friggin' way!" Zharza repeated. "What the hell even _happened_ to you!?"

"Why?" Ebony exclaimed.

Harry giggled. "Because I love the taste of Human blood."

"NO!"

There was little Zharza could really do but accidentally morph into someone in order to sit down at Slytherin's table. This was unbelievable! How the hell did a movie and book series become so messed up to turn into _this!?_ This _hell!_

"Well . . . I _am_ a vampire . . ."

Zharza was too shocked to even bother trying to add anything to warn Harr-_Vampire_ away from Ebony.

"Really?" The messed up Potter whispered.

And then, for some reason, Ebony yelled at the top of her lungs, "YES!"

Zharza didn't leave her spot at the table – she didn't have to, as Harry and Ebony forced a few students out of their way to sit down where they wanted to. The two idiotically messed up beings talked for a few minutes before Malfoy showed up again. Something to do with a surprise for Ebony? Zharza didn't know. All she knew was that she refused to walk anywhere near Ebony without a fight. So, the blonde neek was dragged out of the Great Hall. She wondered if, this time, she'd brave being dragged up the stairs . . .


	8. Chapter 7

"I do'no where I'm going, but I sure know where I don' wanna be . . ."

It was safe to say that Zharza was in a pretty down mood. Her singing "Here I Go Again" deliberately off-key as sat in the corner, lightly rocking back and forth so that her head went through the wall, instead of lightly hitting it like it should have. She would have sat _outside_ the wall, but it seemed that outside this room was kind of worse than inside – _they're all freaks . . _.

What was happening? Well, Ebony was showing off her sluttiness to Draco. Physically. Much to Zharza's distaste. Apparently it was a good idea for the two to 'go at it' again after having been caught the night before.

Ebony's screaming did not help Zharza's sanity, but she found it easier to bear with it if she morphed her head into the wall so that it covered her eyes and ears – it muffled the sound, making it easier to ignore. It took her over an hour to realize that she still had her three pairs of headphones in her jeans pocket, and so she was able to listen her songs and ignore Draco and Ebony all together with her Angry Birds pair on full blast.

It all fell to pieces when her phone ran out of battery . . .

_No . . . no, no, no, no, no, no! NOO! PINKY! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!_

It was too late. The "Samsung Galaxy Y" text appeared, and the phone vibrated in her hand and then it just . . . turned off. It _turned off_.

And just in time for Zharza to hear Ebony yell at Draco.

"You _bastard!_"

Frowning, Zharza pulled her head out of the wall and turned around to see Ebony get out of bed – and immediately regretted it, turning away. The goth was still naked, as was the pasty boy.

"No!" Draco exclaimed. "No, you don't understand!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zharza stood, still staring at the wall. "_What_ doesn't she understand?"

Regardless, the conversation continued without either of them noticing Zharza. "No, you fucking idiot!" Ebony shouted. "You probably have AIDs, anyway!"

"What the _fuck_ is going on!?"

Within seconds, Zharza found herself being dragged through the wall she'd been hiding her eyes and ears in as Ebony stomped out of the dorm. Draco also tried to follow, his manhood dangling in full view . . . Zharza had to cover her eyes, causing her to trip over several things.

For some reason, Zharza was dragged into Professor Snape's potion class – and she could only really wonder what the hell had happened for Ebony to get so angry!

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" She shouted at the top of her lungs to the whole class – including Professor Snape.

It was now that Zharza was actually looking forward to what happened next, regardless of not knowing what the hell had actually caused this all.


End file.
